when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
