is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
