Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
