pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
