stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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