i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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