I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
