You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
