addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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