so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
