You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
