Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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