i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
