I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
