I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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