I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
