marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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