How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
