writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
