we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
