We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
