just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
