Your face is a jimmy john
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
