just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
