Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I enjoy the company of your penis
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