are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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