My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
