do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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