look no pants
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
