HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
