with your own penis?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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