i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
