They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
