I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
