Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
