my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
