She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
