Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
