thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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