three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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