U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My dick has a subreddit
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
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