I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
