I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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