So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
