wrigley field is MILF paradise
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
