Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
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