it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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