i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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