Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
