He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Come share oat with me in your robe
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
