Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
