Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
