fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
